Shut Your Mouth
by T3h Toby-Chan
Summary: AU VH Hitomi is one of the biggest new pop stars out there, but there are a few lessons that must be learned in order to survive in the industry...
1. Part One Shut Your Mouth

^*~*^*~*^A/N: Hello. This is my first Escaflowne fic. It's a songfic, but don't let that turn you off of it. It's an AU, so expect some OOCness.  
  
The rating is mostly for strong language, which is very unlike me. Mostly, none of my fanfiction has anything worse than "Crap". Oh well, what are you gonna do?  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The series is quite obviously not mine. And the Song, is "Shut Your Mouth" by Garbage, so I don't own that either. And if you sue me for it, I will bite you! ::bares pointy fangs::  
  
*= part of the song "= talking '= Hitomi's thoughts (If I had html, I would make them in italics, but I don't, so that bites)  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
Shut Your Mouth  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
* *Welcome-*  
  
*We love you-*  
  
*We hate you*  
  
*We love you*  
  
*We want you*  
  
*We need you*  
  
*We wish we were like you*  
  
Another standard night. Perform, meet fans, go to some fancy cocktail party and hope to meet a few influental people for publicity.  
"Here we go again," Hitomi sighed in front of her image in the mirror. She picked up a pallete of green eyeshadow and began brushing it on. She never liked wearing much makeup, but it was all a part of the act. She had to go appeasing everyone.  
'Just do what they say.' She said to herself, clipping on a pair of earrings, 'You'll make it if you just cooperate. Be nice.' She let out another exasperated sigh and picked up a newspaper. In the music review section, she spotted a tiny clip about her performance.  
Glimmering hope, she read it.  
"Kanzaki Hitomi- one of the cutest new artists out there-..."  
She smirked with a bit of meek pride, before reading on.  
"Unfortunately, that's about her only good quality. Her concerts are hardly promising, with some average guitar playing, and downright predictable lyrics and vocals. As a rising star among so many corperate clones just like her, she is likely not to make it."  
The words really hurt her, even if they were proffessional criticism. Couldn't this person see she was working hard? Couldn't they see she was even a person, not just a name?  
Her eyes strayed downward to the author of this snippet,  
"Emi Okuda."  
"Wasn't that the critic who was raving about my act at that festival a few weeks back?" She asked out loud.  
"What did she say?" the voice of her manager came from behind.  
"Oh, Allen, hi."  
"You left the dressing room door open, so I let myself in. Let me see that, please," He took the article and read it, his face sinking into a grim expression.  
"I thought she liked me." Hitomi gazed at the floor.  
"She did. It seems there isn't a good review in this paper, though." Allen folded the newspaper back up and ran his fingers through his golden hair.  
"Damn sellout," she muttered, hugging her knee.  
"That may be true. Just don't dare say anything like that around the press. They'll feed off it and make you seem like some sort of cruel brat."  
Though she hated to admit it, he was right. It seemed he always knew what to do in reaction to this kind of bad publicity. When it seemed the whole world was giving her a bad rap.  
  
*They say you're a saint*  
  
*You're a whore*  
  
*You're a sinner*  
  
*That he had you*  
  
*Made you*  
  
*Can't live without you*  
  
True, it was Allen who helped her handle things like this, but it certainly wasn't him that made her what she was. She knew that well. She was the one who got herself this far. Even when she had just been living in her van with nothing but her guitar and the clothes on her back, she kept writing her music and trying to be someone.  
The critics all said that her manager made her talent; that it was something produced by a label for generating money. They couldn't have been more wrong. To her, Allen just showed her how things went on in the industry. The music was something purely out of herself.  
She brushed off the bad review and put her thoughts to another place. She thought about her fans. They were there at the concert to see her. And not because somebody told them to, it was because they too saw something special in her music. They too saw that this could mean something.  
She picked up her guitar and tuned the strings for a few minutes until she was satisfied with the sound it made. She closed her eyes, strumming a chord that soothed her. Yes, this was what she loved; to make music, and to know that it helped people; that it had a point.  
"Hitomi-san." her costume designer called her from her thoughts.  
"Hai?"  
"I have your outfit ready." The woman brought in a few hangers with clothing on them.  
"Thank you. Leave them there and I'll be out in a minute."  
"Alright."  
Hitomi set out her clothes. It seemed the skirts kept getting shorter and shorter.  
"Why can't I pick out my own clothes?" She asked to nobody in particular, getting on the pleated red mini-skirt and white tube top.  
"I'd be so much more comfortable up there in jeans and a polo shirt." She said, strapping on her gigantic platform shoes.  
'It sells music,' Allens voice echoed in her head.  
"It sells my music. Why do I want it to sell then? If they're not buying my songs, they're buying my cleavage."  
Backstage, a couple of contest winning fans were gathering to meet their favorite singer, Hitomi Kanzaki. Hitomi smiled as she greeted the preteen girls, who gushed happily about her music and how much it inspired them.  
"I'm glad I have fans like you who like the music for what it is." She said, shaking their hands.  
Some of the other guests were in another group; a couple of maybe twenty year old guys who were looking and acting obnoxious as ever. One of them had a camcorder that they were goofing off with and making off color jokes to eachother.  
She groaned as she tried to act pleasant with them and continue smiling.  
"It's for my image. It's for my image," she repeated to herself with clenched teeth.  
"Hey," The guy with the camera grabbed her shoulder, spinning her around. Her zen calmness was wearing thin...  
"Would you flash the camera?"  
...last... straw!  
The rest of the group started hooting and chanting.  
"Come on! Show us those tits!" They yelled.  
She couldn't take it anymore.  
"Sick little perv!" She slapped the film enthusiast right across the face, "Go to hell!" She punctuated this last statement with the raising of her middle finger, and stormed away.  
Footsteps ran after her in the hallway. She knew it was Allen.  
  
*Would you confess-*  
  
*If we asked that you nurture the urge*  
  
*To declare that it's time*  
  
*To settle down with a man of your own*  
  
*You want*  
  
*A baby*  
  
*A family*  
  
*A piece of security...*  
  
"Hitomi, what was that for?" He pulled off his sunglasses and stared into her eyes, angry as ever.  
"You know damn well what that was for!" She stomped her foot on the ground.  
"And you know that no matter how provoked you never have outbursts like that. It's bad for publicity." He continued raving.  
"And what do you want me to do; apologize?"  
"That's exactly what I want you to do!"  
"Never!" She folded her arms and turned around, "I can not give my apology to those undeserving miserable excuses for humans."  
"You can, and you will. They have the tape and they can edit it. You know how the media marionettes things like that."  
"So how will my apology help?"  
"We make a deal with them and get the tape."  
"I won't do it."  
"Yes you will. You have a contract."  
She turned back to him and brushed back her short sandy hair.  
"Fine. I'll apologize and keep my mouth shut." She sighed.  
"Good girl." He said, "That's the way to play it."  
  
*Shut your mouth*  
  
*Try not to panic*  
  
*Just shut your mouth*  
  
*If you can do it*  
  
She pursed her lip and walked back. The pervert now had a big red welt on his cheek. Ha! Served the bastard right!  
"Miss Kanzaki apologizes for her outburst, and we must ask you that you don't take the issue to press," Allen said, an ultimate calm in his voice.  
After a bit of discussion, it was Hitomi's turn to do her part. Pasting a giant smile on her face, she went to tell her lie.  
"G-Gomen nasai." She muttered as sweetly as she could. It made her cringe to fake guilt over something she'd done that couldn't have been more justified if she put it in the constitution.  
"It's alright." he muttered, "Hey, can I have a hug, then?"  
She couldn't believe the nerve of this guy. Shooting a glance back at Allen, he only gave her a nod. Sucking in her breath, she tried not to look like she was in pain as she hugged her "fan". She certainly wasn't going to let them have the last laugh. Leaning forward she hissed ever so quietly into his ear,  
"Quite personally, fuck you."  
Feeling she'd done enough, she turned around and plastered a big smile on her face. She waved sweetly to the group and went to warm up backstage.  
"Roxy's still stuck at the airport." Allen said, clicking his cell phone shut, "We're going to need a backup drummer."  
"Well who's that lucky person gonna be?" Hitomi asked, strapping her guitar over her shoulder.  
"We found this guy a few weeks back. You never met him, but he was practicing with Roxy for a while. He'll do the job for tonight."  
"It's a guy?"  
"Is that a problem?"  
"No, of course not."  
The opening acts were drawing to a close, and Hitomi rocked back and forth waiting to go on. As she turned, her eye quickly caught something- somebody.  
It was a man- a boy really. He had dark raven hair and deep cocoa brown eyes. Eyes that seemed to hold something- eyes that kept a secret. That sounded like a song... She made a mental note of it, just before she lost sight of him.  
The lights went up as they opened with her hit song, "On Your Wings". Though most people never knew it, that song was inspired by her best friend who'd taken her in after she ran away from home, away from her abusive mother. It was often hard to play that song without bursting into tears right up on stage. There was so much hidden there; people rarely ever guessed.  
She barely noticed that the drummer was new. He played just as well as Roxy had, and that was certainly saying something. Of course she never got a chance to have a look at him, but they would meet eventually.  
She finished the show with the same energy and passion as she did every night. The energy was thick in the air; you could feel it.  
"See, this is what I do this for. It's all for you, guys." She said into the microphone to a cheering audience. Up here, it didn't matter what the critics said. It was just the music.  
"Come on, Hitomi." Allen lead her around through the throng of reporters.  
"Where are we going tonight?"  
"Party at the central hotel. It's very important that you go there tonight. Mr. Dryden will be there."  
"The president of the label?"  
"Yes. It's very important that you make it there to meet him, as one of the biggest rising albums."  
"I look forward to it. I should probably get to my dressing room to change now." Hitomi said, eyeing the large group of reporters.  
They were all there to dig up anything about the so-called "Scandal" she was involved in, compliments of a tabloid. It never even specified what the scandal was, thanks to the creative reporters, but now they were all looking for the slightest whiff of something wrong in order to embroider it for press.  
"Just make sure you don't say anything. Got that? No matter what they accuse you of, don't say a thing."  
  
*Shut your mouth*  
  
*Try not to panic*  
  
*Just shut your mouth*  
  
*If you can do it*  
  
*Just shut your mouth!*  
  
Miraculously, the ravenous media was passed by without a glitch, and Hitomi relaxed in the safety of her dressing room. Only ten minutes to get ready; better get started.  
With her pink dress and pearls on, she picked up her powder and looked in the mirror again. It felt nice to be pretty for once. But somehow, it felt rather pointless, and a little silly.  
What difference did it make that she looked perfect for the boss? Would it really solve world hunger or help research diseases? No. Would it really help other kids who grew up just like her? Whether or not she had her pearl necklace on wouldn't do anything for a young girl who was going to sleep hungry and bruised tonight.  
"Just keep your head up high, darling," She spoke to herself, trying to calm down, "You made it this far and others will follow."  
A knock came from the door.  
"Come in." She said, getting up and picking up her scarf.  
"Are you all ready to go?" Allen asked.  
"Hai. I just need to get my shoes on." She strapped on her stilleto heels and wrapped the scarf around her shoulders.  
"You look fabulous," Allen said, being the all-time master of syrupy flattery. Hitomi couldn't help but smile and roll her eyes and walked alongside him to the limousine.  
All the way to the hotel, she looked out the window in silence, wondering what she had become. If Allen hadn't been busy making appointments on his cell phone, he just might have seen her cry.  
'Keep your head high...' she took a deep breath and reminded herself, 'You must be doing something right.'  
She put her false smile on to make her entrance to the party, just as she did every time. She didn't mind all the attention, or the chance to meet so many people, yet, she never felt like she was a part of them. Before she became a musician, she always saw the whole music industry as one big living thing. Now she could tell it was many people; all scattered and backstabbing. She felt like she was only a little welcome. Like she was just a guest.  
  
*What's your opinion*  
  
*Of the dire situation?*  
  
*In our land here*  
  
*Our guest here*  
  
*Of course you'll be nice here*  
  
Click, click, click went her heels, up the sidewalk and to the doors. She gave a greeting smile to everyone she passed by, and they gave one back.  
Just as she turned to ask Allen a question about the party, she stumbled over her own foot.  
'Damn heels!' was the first thought to race through her brain as she prapared for a full ground collision. Surprisingly, she landed on something, no... she was caught.  
"Easy, there." the voice that belonged to the hands that were holding her said. She gathered he balance, leaning against the one who caught her and laughed it off.  
"Sorry about that," She brushed the dust from herself.  
"No problem," the kind voice replied. She looked up and saw a pair of shimmering eyes. The boy from backstage.  
"I- I'm Hitomi," She said, offering her hand.  
"Ah, I see you met our new drummer," Allen said, "Hitomi, this is Van. He certainly is something."  
"Hi," Van said, shaking Hitomi's hand firmly, "I guess we were never formally introduced," He took a breath and ran his fingers back through his untamed black hair. Something about him just then made Hitomi go weak in the knees.  
"Ah, you were very good. I could hardly tell that you weren't Roxy." Hitomi said, trying to make conversation that wasn't completely akward.  
"Well, it's my job. I practice alot, and I learn how to play by ear." He began walking with them inside. As he continued talking, she took a moment to study him.  
He was young looking and gangly- probably no older than eighteen. He seemed to have an air about him, even though he was not what she would venture to say- devastatingly handsome. He'd traded in his street clothes for a sharp looking suit like the rest of the men there were wearing, but he wore it far looser, and ditched the tie. A definite rock star type.  
The party went as Hitomi would have expected it. Rather stiff and still unwelcoming. Occasionally, she laughed when Van was around, seeing as he turned out to be a very funny guy. Watching Van made her feel like a sheepish junior high student with a crush, but still, she kept on watching him. Once she even swore she saw him wink at her, making her cheeks tint pink.  
"So anyway, I don't know what he was thinking..."  
'How long can this woman go on?' Hitomi thought to herself, politely feigning interest in the conversation she was caught up in. She supressed her yawn and wondered how the rest of these people were listening so intently to this woman's babbling.  
She put up with it for a few minutes, through all the boring ramblings and bad jokes, until she just prayed to be hit by lightning or something.  
"So, how's that new job coming? With your raise and all?" A couple of men were trying to switch subjects.  
"It's alright, besides all the damn tax raises."  
"Oh, I know. I swear the government is trying to steal us blind."  
She sparked a slight interest in this conversation. At least there was some oppourtunity for the duscussion to harbor intelligence.  
"Yes but didn't the plan go that the new tax raise would got to benefit good causes?" She put her two cents in the conversation.  
"Come again?"  
"The mayor says he plans to put a great deal of the new tax money to pressing issues such as homelesness and domestic abuse. The increase is really a benefit for all of us. Our children will be able to get more school funding and such."  
The men both gave rather hollow stares and continued talking amongst themselves.  
'Hitomi-chan no baka. There you go with that mouth of yours again. Just keep it shut for once!' she excused herself from the group, practically unnoticed, and got herself a glass of champagne.  
"Things like that really don't matter around here, do they?" She muttered to herself, sitting at an empty table.  
  
*How do you feel-*  
  
*About God and religion?*  
  
*Are you*  
  
*Good people*  
  
*Bad people*  
  
*Guess-it-dosen't-matter people?*  
  
Sipping her drink, she tried to remain pleasant, hoping the alchohol would help it along a bit. Then, along came who else but Sir Allen and a new big-shot to meet?  
"Hitomi, this is Mr. Dryden, he's the presiden't of this record label."  
"Oh, yes I've heard so much about you." Hitomi said, shaking his hand.  
"Pleased to meet you. I'm very pleased with how your new album's been doing. I'm sure you're very proud."  
"Yes, yes I am. I'm rather shocked actually. I didn't think I would make it this far."  
"Nonsense. You're a very talented performer. We're very proud to have you with us."  
'So why don't you just take your picture with me and get the publicity stunt over with?'  
"Thank you, sir. It's an honor to be here."  
'Liar.'  
"I'm so sorry. If I may, this is my fiancee, Millerna." Dryden introduced Hitomi to the hot blonde on his arm.  
'Well, what a lovely ornament you have there,'  
"Pleased to meet you."  
"No, the pleasure's all mine." Millerna smiled, shaking Hitomi's hand, "You know, I have a niece who just loves your music. She would die if she heard I had met you."  
'No shit, why don't you just buy me at the store and give me to her for Christmas?' Hitomi choked back her thoughts. They seemed to be turning far too nasty. Perhaps the champagne was a bad idea.  
"Well it's great to hear that I have so many fans."  
"I know a great deal of people who would just love to meet you. Perhaps you would care to come attend a party of ours sometime soon?"  
  
*Your place, my place*  
  
*Make her bring that famous face*  
  
*You got some, You want some*  
  
*You wanna let me give you some*  
  
'No way in hell am I going to be a show piece for some rich guy's party!'  
"That might work out. But you know, I do have a busy schedule what with the tour and all..."  
"Oh, don't worry. I'm sure we can work something out."  
'Shit.'  
"Well, we have to go. It was nice meeting you,"  
"You too."  
"We'll be seeing you around, I suppose,"  
"Goodbye!"  
Dryden and his vanity item left to mingle some more, and Hitomi sunk back into her chair, idly swirling the contents of her glass.  
"Does this mean I have to go to social events with these people?"  
"Honestly, Hitomi. You do it all the time. This time shouldn't be any different."  
"It could just be one time too many," she said before finally downing the last of the warm champagne.  
"Fine. If you can get me drunk enough to agree some night, I'll go." Allen chuckled and left Hitomi alone to her thoughts.  
"Did you know that Kanzaki Hitomi is here tonight?"  
"Well that's certainly something new."  
Great. People were talking about her from only a few feet away. Apparently they never even checked to see if she was still there.  
"Yes, she is rather popular nowadays."  
"Well, amongst the teens I can understand. Most kids these days couldn't tell good music if it hit them in the face."  
'Ouch.'  
"Well, I'd agree, it certainly isn't my cup of tea. But, if the company wants to continue manufacturing these fake pop-stars, then they can go right ahead."  
"Of course. Anything to make money is good for them."  
'That's all I am to them, aren't I?'  
  
*We know your music*  
  
*But of course we'd never buy it*  
  
*It's too fake, man*  
  
*Right, man*  
  
*(We don't give a fucking damn!)*  
  
She set down her champagne glass and got up to find the door as quickly as possible. Some air would be really good.  
'God, Hitomi, don't cry. Not here. Not now. Not in front of all these people.' She clenched her fist to fight back the tears.  
Outside the door, she swiftly sat on the cold steps. She didn't care about getting her dress dirty; she just needed to be alone. She sobbed and moaned, her makeup starting to run.  
"Just what I needed," she moped, wiping her eye with one finger.  
"You can use my sleeve if you want. It's black anyway, so nobody will tell the difference."  
"Van. What are you doing out here?" she sniffed, looking up.  
"I need a breather from all that hot air." He said, extending his arm so she could wipe her eyes.  
"I thought you were having a good time in there." She blotted her tears and let him have his arm back.  
"Well, I had you fooled then." He shoved his hands in his pockets and looked up at the sky, "I mean, I like being with some people, but in general, humans are semi-retarded." Hitomi made a short laugh at this observation.  
"I don't suppose it's that, so much as they choose not to see things."  
Van nodded and looked back at Hitomi.  
"I heard what they were saying about you." He said, nonchalantly.  
"Yeah, that I'm a hopeless musician. That I'm nothing but a product. My songs mean nothing."  
"Bullshit." He said, unhesitantly, without even averting his gaze, "I saw you play. Hell, I played with you. I learned your songs by heart, and I know. They touch people, Hitomi."  
Hitomi remained silent, her hands on her knees.  
"It's a sick sick game," she finally said, never breaking her stare at the concrete steps, "It's a game nobody can win, but you can survive it by shutting up."  
A long silence followed, until Van spoke,  
"Even though I wish it wasn't, I guess that's all true. I just don't see why it had to wind up like this. Your life ends up as a crazy freak show. A three ring circus."  
"Yep. A spectator sport. A game you can't win..."  
  
*Let me hear you play it smart, girl*  
  
*Win the game, love*  
  
*Give them what they want*  
  
*What they wanna see, and you could be a big star*  
  
*You could go far,*  
  
*Make a landmark...*  
  
"Well, I'm glad I finally met somebody smart enough to get the truth about this crazy mess." Van folded his hands behind his head.  
"So am I." Hitomi smiled.  
"Hitomi!" Allen's voice.  
"Not again," She pressed her finger along her eyelid to wipe away any of the evidence that she had been crying,  
"Hai?"  
"They're taking a picture for the magazine. We need you now."  
She picked herself up from her seated position, and turned to Van,  
"I have to go. Will I see you again?"  
"I might hang around with you guys a while longer." He shrugged.  
"Then I'll look forward to meeting you backstage."  
She hurried up the stairs back inside the ball room to rejoin the group. She was ready to play the game once more at least.  
  
*What have you been reading, you smart girl?*  
  
*Win the game, love*  
  
*Give them what they want*  
  
*What they wanna see*  
  
*You could be a big star*  
  
* You could go far*  
  
*Make a landmark*  
  
*Make a... shitload*  
  
"Guess who?" A pair of hands covered Hitomi's eyes. She laughed playfully, and tried to squirm away.  
"Van!"  
"Can't get anything past you, now can I?" He removed his hands and spun around her to look her in the eye.  
"I missed you!" She jumped forward and hugged him, almost knocking him down in the process.  
"Whoa. You'd think I've been gone for years or something." He swayed to balance himself and lightly hugged her back.  
"It gets boring around here without you." She slung her arm around his shoulder and walked with him down the hallway.  
"So how have you been?" She asked, her eyes beaming.  
"I've been faring pretty well. I think I may have finally hooked up with a band."  
"That's great! I know how long you've been waiting for a chance like this." She ear to ear looking into his face, which she would have been content doing all day long.  
She had been rather shocked when Van told her that he'd never played with a band for more than three weeks. He was very good at music, and not only with the drums, but he could really tear up an electric guitar. He still got by just making backup roles with other bands; enough to pay the rent.  
"Yeah. I think they really liked me. It's just a small garage band from Okoyama, but they're really good. Likely to make it far."  
Hitomi nodded and sat down on the sofa that was in the lounge, picking up a bottle of water.  
"So, what about you? How is the tour going?" Van asked.  
"Same old stuff. I'm not complaining, though. I'm really getting used to it all."  
"Did you ask Allen about that charity thing you were planning?"  
Immediately a downtrodden look came upon her face.  
"He- he said people weren't interested in that kind of stuff. That if I wanted publicity, I should marry an actor or something like that instead."  
"Who said anything about publicity?"  
"That's what I said. I just wanted to make that shelter for runaways like I always dreamed of."  
"Well, it's your money, isn't it?"  
"Yeah... I guess. So-?"  
"So forget about Allen, and go do it. I really think you're too passive in these things, Hitomi."  
"But..."  
"But nothing. You need to stand up for yourself. I know you, Hitomi, and you aren't the kind of pushover that you seem to act like sometimes. You just need confidence."  
"That's easy for you to say. You don't have a P.R to worry about."  
"Do you really want to be a puppet behind your P.R? No. You're strong. You have nerves of steel. You can do what you want. And screw what anyone else wants to say."  
"I guess." She said, a bit of hope illuminationg her face.  
"And if you really want publicity, we could get married for 30 days and let the tabloids just feed off it." He said this last remark in playful sarcasm, and Hitomi giggled, blushing just slightly.  
"Or better, yet: marry Allen. Think of the headlines that one will make; 'Kanzaki Marries Manager'!"  
"Sure, like that'll ever happen!" She laughed out, splashing Van with her water bottle.  
"Hey, no fair!" He yelled, jumping back, "I'm defenseless!"  
"Yeah, well you asked for it." She said, proceeding to dump more water on him.  
'That's so strange, about that marriage comment. I know he was joking, but still... he never thought of me as more than just a friend before...'  
Van reached into the cooler and pulled out a can of Coke, which he began shaking, with a devilish grin on his face.  
"You wouldn't dare," She gasped, backing away.  
"Oh, yes I would," He advanced toward her, his finger set threateningly on the pull tab.  
"If you do, I'll-"  
Fsssshhhhht!!!  
The bubbly foam sprayed all over her, and on Van as well, making Hitomi screech with laughter.  
"You- You bastard!" She yelled, quickly grabbing for another can, shaking it in her slippery hand. Van quickly turned on his heel to run.  
"Oh, no you don't!" She called, "I'm gonna make you pay for that one!" As he dashed for the door, she jumped right ahead of him and slammed it shut.  
"I'm not letting you get away that easily." She pinned him against the wall, smiling mischieviously.  
Fsssshhht!!!  
Yet another soda bomb was unleashed, this time on Van's head, slicking down his mop of hair, satisfyingly enough for Hitomi, at least.  
Van seemed like he would begin to hyperventilate from all his laughter, as he leaned against the wall and sunk back, the contageous giggles spreading to Hitomi as he pulled her down.  
Their hilarity attack continued for the next few minutes, as they reduced themslves to babbling idiots with the chuckles that kept coming. Finally, they were able to reach some sort of coherent phrases.  
"Y- you look terrible!" Hitomi managed between gasps.  
"I don't think you should be talking." Van said, giving her a shove.  
"You're paying for the dry cleaning."  
"What? You started it with your little water attack."  
"But you- provoked me."  
"Did not. You committed the crime out of cold blood."  
"Well, cold blood or not, we're all sticky now." She said, starting to lick foam off her hand jokingly.  
"Hey, not a bad idea." Van remarked, and copied her, licking his own arm.  
"Ha ha! You are so wierd, Van."  
In response, he quickly licked her cheek, cleaning off a fleck of foam.  
"Mmmm, bubbly fresh!" He commented. She quickly looked at him in shock.  
'Did he really-... Maybe he was just being playful. I mean, he couldn't really, could he?' Hitomi thought. There was only one way to find out.  
"I think you have some there." She pointed to a spot on his face.  
"Where?" He looked downward.  
"Right, there." She leaned forward and kissed him tentatively. To her surprise he didn't shy away or stop her, but in fact, he seemed to be kissing her back.  
Gently, she pulled away, smiling at him contently. Of course, as with all great things, this moment couldn't last.  
"Hitomi?" Allen quickly opened the door and walked in, "Hitomi, you need to do that interview with the teen magazine in a half an hour." He took a second to look at her,  
"You're a mess. what happened?" He then looked at Van, and of course, figured a few things out by himself.  
"You should get yourself cleaned up," Van said, "I'll pick up in here." He winked and got up.  
  
As Hitomi cleaned up and got ready for the interview, her thoughts dwelled on Van. She had only known him for six months and yet felt she grew up with him.  
Most importantly, she knew what she learned from him. He gave her strength to say what she needed to, without caring what others thought. No matter what the world said; or what they attacked about her, she was going to stay steadfast.  
  
*And the world spins by with everybody moanin'*  
  
*Pissin' and bitchin'*  
  
*And everyone is shittin'-*  
  
*On their friends*  
  
*On their love*  
  
*On their oaths*  
  
*On their honor*  
  
*On their graves*  
  
*On their mouths*  
  
*And their words say nothin'*  
  
"Allen," She said, clicking open her cell phone and smirking with a newfound confidence, "I'm going to be making a donation."  
  
*******  
  
~A/N: So, how did you like that? Man, this was intended to be pure angst, but look at all that fluff! Somehow, I am twistedly split between my angst and my fluff. Darn it. Anyways, whatever you feel about it, please click there on that review button and tell me.  
  
~Whether it's a long thorough review, a short one-liner, or an incoherent "Booga!", just submit it there. (Although the third option is not quite so favored). Ciao, and Ja ne!  
  
~If you like my songfics, and you like Evanescence, then you may look forward to my up and coming angst fics for Rurouni Kenshin.  
  
Now Clicky on the button! 


	2. Part Two The DragonSlayers

Shut Your Mouth  
  
By Toby-Chan  
  
A/N: Yay! After forever of talking about it and battling my writer's block and schedule, I've finally done it! Here's chapter two! This was intended as a one-shot, but I had some ideas for continuation, and your reviews inspired me. Keep up the good work! (Heh, I guess that's what you'd be telling me, now, ne?) Well, here's Shut Your Mouth, chapter 2.  
  
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"So where do these guys live, again?" Hitomi asked, drumming her fingers against the car window.  
"Um, they just bought a house around twenty minutes outside of the city." Van replied, keeping his eyes on the road.  
"The shelter is nearby. It's almost done with construction... just down the block."  
"You finally got Allen to cave?"  
"Not really, but I did it anyway."  
"Ha! I can imagine the look on his face when he realized he lost control."  
"You're probably imagining right, then. He looked like he'd been hit by a truck!"  
The both chuckled and returned to tense silence, each gazing out their own window, while Van focused on driving. In the mean time, Hitomi was nervously scoping out every detail of the car and her driver, from the floor that needed vacuuming to the stickers on the window and right back to of course, Van's perfectly calm face.  
'I never really thought about what Van's car would be like. Come to think of it, I've never really seen his car, or his house, or anything else for that matter. I guess I should... though we're not exactly 'together'... It smells kind of funny in here,'  
"Oh, look. There it is!" Hitomi pointed out the window, to the building mostly covered in tarp and wooden beams. On the front hung a banner reading, 'Kanzaki Shelter for Runaway Youth".  
"Wow. Impressive."  
"I'm just glad it's finally happening. I thought I'd never get it off the ground."  
The car slowed a little, passing it, and continued.  
"Are you hungry?" Van asked, while they were passing a few small shops and cafes.  
"Just a little," She replied, studying her shoes.  
"Let's stop here then," He pulled over the car into a free parking space, and checked his watch.  
"We have- a half an hour. We can just get something and make it over in time."  
Hitomi's stomach growled incriminatingly.  
"I'd say that you're more than just a little hungry," Van laughed, pulling out his keys.  
"Probably."  
'I wonder... does this classify as a date? I don't think we've ever been on a real date yet.'  
"I'll just have a small sushi plate and some mineral water." Hitomi said as they reached the counter. "You sure that's all?" Van's question was replied with a nod. He went on to order his sandwich and soda, and they brought their meals back out to the car again, only to be stopped halfway through the sidewalk.  
"Hitomi? Hitomi! Oh my God! Is that you?" Hitomi almost dropped her food, when she was tackled by the red-head.  
"Yukari!" She suddenly realized, as she made an attempt to hug her friend back. "Fancy meeting you here."  
"Where are you headed?"  
"To a band practice with Van." Hitomi said, remembering to introduce Van.  
"Hi there." Van said, extending a hand, which Yukari shook firmly.  
"Hitomi, you never told me you had a boyfriend." She said smugly.  
"He's not- my boyfriend, really... I mean-"  
"I was the replacement drummer in her bad for a while. I just joined a band of my own recently, and she's coming to meet them today," He said smoothly.  
"Ooh," Yukari's eyes widened, "He's the one with the nice ass, right Hitomi?"  
"YUKARI!" Hitomi turned red on the spot.  
"Of course, I thought for sure you'd be dating by now. Aren't you? You really should."  
At this point, Hitomi was ready to throttle her best friend, and unkown to the girls, Van supressed a chuckle.  
"Well, I'm on a tight schedule, meeting my sister in five minutes, but I'll call you later, okay? It was nice meeting you, Van!" Yukari waved and left almost as abruptly as she had come.  
"So," Van smirked, getting into the driver's seat, "You really think I have a nice ass?" Hitomi almost face faulted, if it hadn't been for the fact that she was already sitting down. She sheepishly leaned her forehead against the dashboard and let her embarrassed grin do the talking.  
The engine started, and Hitomi blushed, as she stole another glance at Van, and chewed on her California roll.  
  
"Is he going to be late again, that baka?" The boy said, sitting backwards on the folding metal chair set out in the center of the garage. He idly rocked back and forth, fiddling with a lighter in his hand, turning it on and off, on and off, until his fingertips were sore.  
"You won't be able to play if your fingers get burned," The bassist said, trying not to sound challenging.  
"If my fingers get burned, maybe we'll just amputate them, and I'll switch fingers with you. How's that sound?"  
Gulp.  
A blue car made it's way up the driveway, first Van, then Hitomi hopping out.  
"Dude, where have you been?" The guy with the lighter got up and looked at Van.  
"What? I'm just a few minutes late."  
"Don't make me wipe the floor with you, man."  
"Is it just me, or do I sense that you're in a particularly good mood today?"  
"Smartass. Anyway, who's the girl?"  
"This is Hitomi. She just came to watch us practice today."  
"Hi," Hitomi waved, shifting akwardly from one foot to another.  
"I'm Dilandau." He waved curtly and pulled a cigarrette out of his pocket. His silvery hair was concealed in a black ski cap with a handpainted anarchy sign on it, and even though he was thoroughly intimidating in almost every respect, he seemed almost-... pretty.  
"This is the second guitar player, Miguel," Van introduced her to the long-haired kid sitting in the corner with a guitar strapped around his shoulder, "And this is our bassist, and second in command, Gatty. I'm actually rather surprised Dilandau hasn't killed him yet."  
Dilandau responded to Van's second smartassed comment of the day by blowing a smoke ring in Van's face, making him gag for a second.  
"See, Hitomi? Such a nice guy." Van laughed and picked up his sticks, heading to the drumset with the logo "Dragonslayers" painted on the front of the bass drum.  
'How the hell do they come up with that name?' Hitomi wondered, while Van tested out all his drums.  
"Ready to go?"  
"Whenever you are." Dilandau stomped out his cigarrette on the floor, tuning his guitar.  
Starting with the backdrop of Van's drumming, and heavy bass beat, the members all made a tapestry of sound that fit together like puzzle pieces.  
'They're really good,' Hitomi quietly thought to herself, watching them play, 'Certainly... different.'  
"Not gonna take it. Not like I care!"  
"Gonna be a big mess; chaos everywhere."  
"And I'll fall on spikes before I wait my turn."  
"Just pour on the gas and BURN, baby, BURN!"  
Dilandau wailed into the screeching microphone, putting a great deal of emphasis on the "BURN" part. There was something about his eyes when he sang that was very... creepy. But somehow she figured it meant he was just passionate about it... hopefully.  
The chords of the Miguel's guitar screeched to a halt, punctuated by one last strike of the drum, before silence followed, and they all split into laughter.  
"Our best work, I'm sure," Gatty chuckled, taking a swig form his bottle of water.  
"I think it'll be our first single," Dilandau joined in laughing (Rather maniacly, at that, so Hitomi noticed), and sat in his chair again, fiddling with his lighter.  
"What are they laughing about?" Hitomi thought out loud, not realizing she was heard by the band.  
"We wrote that song as a joke," Miguel exlplained, sitting next to Hitomi, and setting down his guitar, "A tribute, of course, to our favorite pyromaniac, sir Dil."  
Dilandau stood up and took a bow, lighter and all.  
"Did you know that when he was a kid, Dilandau would put burn marks on the kitchen floor from lighting things with the stove?"  
Hitomi joined them, laughing behind her hand.  
"That wasn't the worst. He almost burned down the deck at the neighborhood barbeque. And he was constantly getting in trouble for bringing his lighters to school."  
"You're making it sound like you were the one who lived it," Dilandau said, annoyedly lighting up another cigarette.  
"Is that why you started smoking?" Hitomi asked, sensing she wouldn't want to see him getting pissed off.  
"Yeah. It's a really gross habit, but I can't quit now. And I figure it's just another thing to burn," He snickered, taking a drag.  
"Well don't you want to stop?" Hitomi asked, mostly because her throat was clogging up from the second hand smoke, and she was growing thoroughly annoyed.  
Dilandau shrugged, raised an eyebrow.  
"Then stop!" Hitomi yanked the burning ciggy out of his mouth and threw it on the ground.  
"Hey! What the he-"  
"It's bad for your singing voice." She said, matter-of-factly, "You wouldn't want Gatty to have to start singing, now would you?"  
Gatty and Miguel were already cracked up, and Van had already fallen from his chair, and was doubled over laughing.  
"Shut up, YOU MORONS!" Dilandau yelled, shaking a fist.  
"Just start chewing gum or something." Hitomi said, grinding the cigarette butt into the concrete with her heel.  
Dilandau's face simply went limp as he watched his power briefly whisked away by this- woman he didn't even know.  
In a rage, he stomped up to Miguel, who just happened to be closest, delivered him a quick blow to the back of the head, and stormed inside the house.  
Even with a throbbing neck pain, Miguel couldn't stop himself from snorting while he rubbed his sore head.  
"I'm sorry," she said, sympathetically to Miguel.  
"No problem. Dill's always like this. He probably would have ended up thwacking me anyway. And it was worth it too."  
"You think he locked the door again?" Gatty asked, setting up his guitar on the stand.  
"Damn, I hope not."  
"Oh well. He always opens it again in a few hours or so. After he gets out all his rage. And he dosen't seem to have enough rage today to take all that time."  
"Getting out his rage dosen't happen to involve burning various objects in the fireplace, does it?" Hitomi inquired.  
"Surprisingly, no. He usually flips a few chairs, watches some T.V and gets over it." A few crashing sounds from inside the house confirmed said activity.  
"You know what, I think it's getting late already." Van said, checking his watch, "I'll see you guys again in a couple of days, right?"  
"Sure. If Dilandau unlocks the door by then."  
"Ha ha. Let me know if we actually get any job offers." Van busied himself putting the drums in their carrying cases and stacking them carefully.  
"Will do. Take care, Van."  
"See you guys later."  
"It's been nice meeting you." Hitomi called.  
"You too. Come back some time!" Miguel waved as Van's car pulled out of the driveway.  
Hitomi leaned her head against the window, smiling contentedly at the road swishing by.  
"They're pretty nice," She said, drumming her fingers on the dashboard and lifted her forehead from the glass, "Interesting to say the least."  
"Yeah, well that's what I like about them. It's never boring to practice." Van replied with a smile. God, that smile! She never got bored of looking into his face and just drifting. It seemed he didn't smile much except around the band, and her. That was what made it feel so special. He was a down to earth guy, who didn't mind acting like a complete idiot once in a while.  
"Uh, you want to stop by my apartment?" Van asked casually. The offer caught Hitomi completely by surprise. Her skin tingled with nervousness, and she blinked in question.  
"I don't mean- my apartment- not that way." He fumbled a little, very much unlike him. "I mean, you could just stop by. I haven't cleaned in a while, but..."  
"Sure. I'd love to visit your place." She shifted upward from her reclined position, and grinned.  
Trying to look fascinated with picking at the frayed end of her shoelace, she tried to envision what Van's apartment was going to look like.  
Probably a musician's studio; complete with sheet music strewn about, classic rock records lining the shelves, a guitar on its stand right beside the couch ready for translating whatever next muse came to mind.  
Or maybe it was a stylish, but still relaxed flat, where he had a dimmer for the lights and candles on the table with roses in the center. And he had everything perfect from the wine glasses to the romantic jazz music for a special evening...  
'What am I thinking?" She even shocked herself with her little daydream. 'Maybe I really am regressing to age thirteen.'  
A pattern was pressed white against her pink-ish skin from leaning against the side of the door, when the car finally came to a stop. Stretching her stiff legs, she looked up at the building.  
"This is it?" She asked.  
"Yep. Park avenue on a budget." Laughed the ebony haired drummer. He got out his keys and showed her the way up the stairs and down the hallway where a few kids were pitter-pattering past with plastic swords and tupperware bowls on their heads.  
"Hi, Van Ni-Chan!" they yelled, on the go as they giggled their way by.  
"Hey!" Van waved as the kids dissapeared down the bend, and he went back to unlock his door.  
"They call you 'Ni-Chan'?" Hitomi asked, quite amused.  
"Yeah... I have no idea why."  
"Hmm. Maybe you just have a magnetism for kids."  
"To tell you the truth, I'm not that great with them."  
"Really? I'm shocked. You seemed so friendly with them."  
"Meh, maybe that's just a me thing. Or it could be the fact that I used to babysit for some of them."  
"You? Babysitting?" Hitomi was almost ready to burst with laughter.  
"Well, I have to pay the bills somehow. It started out as petsitting, then before I knew it I had kids on my hands. And I know quite a few families here, so they trusted me." With a little squeak, Van finally got the door open, and he rushed in to immediately begin tidying.  
"S-sorry about the mess." He said, stuffing two pizza boxes and a takeout container into the trash can. Hitomi took her jacket off and slung it over the back of the couch.  
Van's apartment certainly wasn't what Hitomi imagined, but then again, she knew she certainly shouldn't have been surprised. He was, after all a twenty year old bachelor who played the drums for a living.  
"You don't have to do that," Hitomi said, offering to help.  
"Well, it's good you came, or I probably would have never cleaned up." He laughed, trying to get up, only to find his foot was stuck in the garbage bin from stamping down the contents.  
Ever so gracefully, he shook his leg several times and toppled over, hitting his head with a loud bang on the wall.  
"Itai!" He yelled, holding his aching skull. Hitomi swiftly got his foot free from the trash can and helped him up.  
"Van, are you okay?" She asked, clutching his wrist.  
"Yeah," He flinched, and chuckled. "Shows how much I need a house cleaner."  
"Shows how much you need ballet lessons."  
"Come again?"  
"You looked like a freaking ballet dancer, hopping around like that."  
"That was perhaps the strangest observation I've ever heard."  
"Why thank you. I see the age of chivalry is not yet over." She smiled sarcastically.  
"Is it chivalry you like?" He asked, grinning mischieviously, "Then, milady, do I need to ask before I can take your hand?" He took her hand and with an exxagurated bow, and kissed the back of it.  
Giggling, she gave a flirtatious pout.  
"Oui, Monsieur."  
"Oh, Cherie`," He growled in his most ridiculous french accent, "I love it when you speak French." He set his arm around her waist, and leaned in toward her cheek.  
She snorted to keep in the laughter while his breath tickled her neck terribly, and he nuzzled his nose against her face-  
"Van! You're home!" A sudden noise sent Van backwards into a complete face fault, when a short figure seemed to materialize out of nowhere.  
He quickly got up, but was no less startled when he felt the breath squeezed out of him by the strong little arms of his intruder.  
"M-m Merle?!?" He choked, his eyes as wide as saucers, "What the hell are you doing here?"  
"I came to see you, baka." She beamed happily, hardly noticing the third person in the room. Hitomi was shocked out of her mind at the sudden appearance of the girl who seemed to be only about fourteen in Van's living room.  
"How did you get in?"  
"You left the door unlocked. You really need to be more careful about that." She pointed a finger at him, instructively.  
"And-..."  
"It's okay. Yuriko knows I'm here. She said I could spend some time with you. It was probably fantastic for her to get a week off."  
"So you never considered to contact me about it?"  
"I wanted to surprise you!" She grinned happily with outstretched arms, "Why, aren't you happy to see me?"  
"Am I missing something?" Hitomi was starting to really get confused.  
"Ah-, Hitomi. This is my little sister, Merle." Van stuttered to explain, "And, um, Merle, This is Hitomi."  
"Hitomi Kanzaki?" Merle folded her arms skeptically.  
"Yes, so you've heard of her?"  
"Who hasn't?" The pink haired little girl vented, rolling her eyes.  
"Now, come on, Merle. You can be a little nicer." Van was trying to shake off the tension of the moment.  
"I can... But I won't." The way Merle puffed reminded Hitomi of a cat hissing.  
The kid was definitely... spirited to say the least. She was a little on the short side, but with an attitude that more than compensated, and a demeanor like a cat in most every way. A backwards baseball hat covered her pink bob, and she wore a skirt and sweatshirt with sneakers.  
Merele wasted no time in circling Hitomi, as if critically inspecting a bad sculpture. After giving her a good once-over, she finally managed to declare her conclusion,  
"She's wierd!" she said, holding up a finger, "And she's a little on the skinny side. She has the funniest expressions, and what's with that hair?" Hitomi was doing her best in trying to hide her welling irritation for this little neko girl.  
"Honestly, Oni-Sama," She continued, "I don't know what you see in this teeny bopper here. But then, you're a big boy, and I guess you can do what you choose. But I don't trust her, and I wouldn't want you to live with her or anything... unless you guys are already shacking it up."  
Hitomi's cheeks turned pink, then shaded to a darker crimson, as she poked her finger's together nervously.  
"Well we, um... aren't really, like-..." she stuttered, "T-together?"  
"Bfft! Not together? I saw how close you two were getting. Or is that just how friends act on your planet?"  
"You were spying on us?" Van started to twitch.  
"Well, I did kinda hear you fall against the wall, you big klutz." Innocent little Merle laughed, and punched Van payfully on the shoulder, "How could I not notice you were home? Besides, I didn't want to miss all that romantical French talk."  
Merle turned around and wrapped her hands around her back, mimicking a kissing couple.  
"Oh, Van! I love you soo much! And I'm pretending I know a foreign language just to impress you, mon cherie!"  
"Cut it out, Merle!" Van whined clapping his hand over his face. Hitomi was already on the verge of cracking her head over the coffee table.  
  
"Ooooh! Hitomi-Chan! I love everything about you! Your big green eyes, your annoying voice, your crap records..."  
"rrrrrrrrrrrrr.... BAMF!!!!" Hitomi screamed out of nowhere, causing the whole room to freeze. Her crimson flush had now consumed her entire face. The other two sets of eyes in the apartment were fixed on her and a long silence followed accompanying the mortified sweatdrop that formed behind her head.  
"See what I mean? Wierd." Merele slid over the arm of the sofa and walked to Van's room down the hallway. Van and Hitomi stood stiffly looking at eachother sideways.  
"Bamf?" Van asked.  
"I had to say something." Her face lightened slightly.  
"Yes, but... Bamf?"  
"Eh heh! Long story."  
"I'd imagine."  
Some loud sounds on the floor from down the hallway could only be some large things being moved around.  
"I did some cleaning in your room, if that's okay, Van." Merele called, tossing a few garbage bags out of the door.  
"Ano-... Merle?" He asked.  
She poked her head out of the door frame, "Don't worry." She said, "I didn't throw out anything important."  
Van slumped back into the overstuffed sofa and picked at an old stain on the cushion. He exhaled and held his temples.  
"Alright?" Hitomi asked, cautiously reaching to set her hand on his shoulder.  
"NO!" He snapped loudly. She recoiled her hand, and he put his face in his palms again, "I mean... not really. Sorry."  
"No problem." She said, sitting beside him, "You weren't the only one surprised by your sister coming."  
"It's not her. I mean- she's my sister. I love her more than anything. But I just can't... I can't take care of her. Especially if she just shows up unexpected like this. I mean, I'm a musician for crying out loud."  
"Well it seems she'd be taking better care of you than you would of her."  
Merle leaned out the door of Van's room and called,  
"Hey, do you have any vacuum bags?" She ducked back in then called, again, "Nevermind! I found them."  
"Hm. I guess." Van said thoughtfully.  
"I think even I might grow to like her. After all, if she's like you, I'll have to like her."  
"You think?" He asked smiling.  
Merle came into the living room with a rather large stack of magazines in her arms.  
"I didn't know where to put these all, so you can deal with them," She told him, dropping the stack on his lap, forcing a little 'oof' out of him.  
Satisfied with her part, Merle skipped back out to the other room, while van's eyes shrunk with embarrasment at the stack of magazines in front of him.  
"W-what?" Hitomi said, leaning forward. She was able to make out a female figure and the letters 'yboy' and of course it didn't take her long to put two and two together.  
"I- It's not what you think!" Van said, panicky.  
"Should I put those in a case or something, Ni-chan?" Merle called. Van choked and his face dropped.  
For a second, Hitomi didn't know what to make of it. She looked at Van, his morified expression, his stack of magazines, and his scheming little sister.  
"Pfft..." She snorted, snapping Van out of his haze.  
"Bwahahahahaaahaaha!" She started to break into laughter.  
"Well, she's certainly taking this well." Merle said, folding her arms.  
"G- Gomen!" Hitomi said with tears starting to form, "It's just-... Bffwahahahahahahaha!"  
Van set down the source of the current hilarity spasm posessing his friend, and pat her on the back, almost frightened. She leaned over on his shoulder and supported herself on him, as she was weak with trembling laughter.  
"Van, I think your girlfriend is officially a nutcase." Merle said, heading into the small kitchen.  
"You don't know the half of it!" Hitomi declared proudly.  
"Well, I'll be making something to eat. Looks like you'll have to have your girlfriend staying here for dinner, seeing as she can't go home in her condition."  
"I'd love to stay for dinner." Hitomi said, her control stablizing.  
"Yeah, well I guess I don't have a choice now, do I? Just don't expect me to like you or anything," Merle said waving a spatula.  
Even if it was a teenaged girl who had an attitude to be reckoned with, and a declaration of hate for her, Hitomi had a feeling she'd just found a new friend.  
  
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A/N: Yahoo! Now as a little tribute to the reviewers. You lovely little cuties, you!  
  
SabrinaYutsuki- I'm glad you liked it; the rock star attitude was what I was going for, and I'm glad it worked well. There are some character twists in store for him, though, so don't get too comfortable... (PS: I love Garbage too. 3 3 3)  
  
Yoshi Kanzaki- Thanks!  
  
Tinka- Thanks for your review. It's really nice to get long thorough reviews like yours. ^_^ I liked doing the little 'kiss-on-the-cheek-' thing. And your review really inspired me to continue on some plot buds I had growing. I was going to leave it as a one-shot at first. That's why I love reviewers!!!  
  
Dillpops- Better throughout the chapter? That's quite often the case with my fics. The start-off is weak, but... it usually gets rolling eventually. Thanks much!  
  
Snow Blossoms- Thank you soo much. Sorry if I don't make this response long enough, but just know I love you very much. Not in THAT way, but as a lovely reviewer.  
  
Cev- Omigosh! I'm, lyke, your biggest fan! And you're lyke, reviewing my fic! Omigosh, omigosh, omigosh!!! Hehe, just playing. I do love your work though. But this isn't about you; it's all about me. Deal with it! (Don't you just love me?) Oh, yes, BOOGAH! Sorry if I dissapoint you, but Hitomi is indeed in the... *Gulp* pop genre. Don't worry. She's not a Britney clone in the slightest. She's more along the lines of some of the more talented pop stars. (I was thinking a bit like Michelle Branch). But there is some different music coming up, much like you just saw with Dill-Chan's band. I'm not sure exactly what genre they register under. (The lyrics of their song was a completely random product of my freaky mind) I've been thinking of writing some other songs for them, a bit more similar to bands like The Clash, Pink Floyd, etc. I can't believe you fell from your chair laughing! Am I really funny? Am I? *Goes and checks on funny-meter* Wow! I am! Gee, thanks. More fluff, and enough angst coming.  
  
Hitomi21- Well thanks. L8er? Heehee. Kids these days. Wait... I'm a kid... AM I THE ONLY ONE NOT GETTING THIS WEB-SPELL WITH NUMBERS THING?!? Oi vay! Well I thank you anyway. Or is that "NEwayz"? Ha ha. I'm just playing with you. Love ya!  
  
Dawnsama- Whoa! *Catches you as you swoon*. Don't fall over. So I take it you don't like Allen? Well, I guess I didn't leave much room for making Allen likeable here, but I can't really say there are any characters from the show I don't like. In fact, there are basically no characters I hate, period. I guess I'm not a hater. Thankies! Much Love!  
  
Hitomi-Chan- Sorry if I end up making this abrupt. But it's severely late, I have the TV on, and I think I have a Cookie hangover. I loved your review. And I loved your faces. Those little things are kawaii. ^_^ ^_~ *_* Hee hee. I think if I'm sleepy enough to laugh at those, I really must retire. But your review was quite helpful. I'm glad you all put in your opinions. That's how my stories get written.  
  
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Now continue to review! That's what keeps me going. Mwa! Ciao, peoples! I'll see you on the next chapter. 


	3. Part Three Learning about Merle

Shut Your Mouth  
  
By: Toby-Chan  
  
*Part 3*  
  
Hitomi leaned back on the couch and stretched her arms contentedly.  
"Wow, Van! Your little sister is such a good cook!" she commented, with a happy beam in her eyes.  
Van smirked a little, retaining a pensive expression. He ran his fingers through his dark hair, and sat down. The tiny apartment was looking so much bigger, now with all the cleaning the three had spent the remainder of the day on. And of course, the magazine had been determined to be Miguel's, ("I swear he left it here!") and promptly thrown out. Hitomi's leniency in that situation seemed to cause some frustration in Merle.  
Her eyes wandered about the room, as she sighed in satisfaction. Even though it was a mundane task, helping out with Van and Merle made her feel like she found something she'd been missing. Without even having realized she was in lack of anything, she found it. This sense of belonging; like a family.  
It was still early in the evening, but Merle was curled up on the carpet, in a square of a sunbeam, resting peacefully. It was almost like she was trying to complete the setting of a picturesque home with a little cat.  
'It's been a long day for her,' Hitomi mused, 'But... I wonder...'  
"Ano- Van?" She asked, casually leaning against his arm.  
"Hn?"  
"Where has Merle been living if not with you?" She snuggled a bit closer.  
Van sighed, as though he was preparing to lower a heavy burden from his shoulders.  
"Well, when Merle was still pretty young, our parents died."  
Hitomi looked up at him sympathetically, and he continued.  
"We lived with our aunt Yuriko in Osaka. Merle and I were very close. I guess we were all eachother had, since Yuriko wasn't much of a kid-person."  
Merle stirred in her sleep, exhaling happily, almost purring. How she got so comfortable on the floor was a wonder.  
"When I turned eighteen, I wanted to take off on my own. I knew I couldn't take care of Merle. So I left. I guess I should have visited her more often, if she wanted to see me this badly."  
"How long ago was that, then? How old are you now, exactly?"  
"Twenty next month," He said proudly.  
"What? You're only nineteen?" Hitomi looked up suddenly.  
"Don't I look it? I know, some people confuse me for an old man." Van teased  
"Well it's just, now I feel like a cradle robber."  
"What, you're only twenty one." He glanced at her sideways, "You don't have to be that dramatic about it."  
"I guess, but still..."  
"It's not like I'll leave you for a younger woman," He teased, getting a blush out of her, "How's this? When you get old, before me I'll even push your wheelchair, and feed you."  
Hitomi giggled, and hit Van playfully on the arm, "Stop it!" He wrapped his arm around her shoulder.  
"Lets just tell everyone I go for older women." A wide joking grin spread over his face.  
"Oh God. You're so- You're so-!" She clenched her fists, looking for the right words, then gave up and leaned back against him.  
"-so comfy," She filled in her sentence quickly. She shut her eyes meditatively and thought up a new adjective,  
"You're so you, Van. That's what's great about you."  
He picked up her hand and smiled,  
"And you're so you. Thats what I like about you. Don't ever change that goofy, headstrong Hitomi I know."  
Hitomi smiled gratefully.  
Merle turned over from where she was resting and purred.  
The sandy haired girl turned her head and asked, "Do you have any cats in your family?" This ushered a chuckle out of Van.  
"Not last time I checked." He said, "But maybe we better put her to sleep. I can sleep on the couch tonight." She nodded and got up.  
He kneeled down and gently picked up his sister's sleeping form. She lifted off the ground like a feather, and gently cradled against him. He set her down on his newly made bed.  
"She even changed the sheets." he said, shaking his head, "She's something, isn't she?"  
"She must really think a lot of you," Hitomi commented, "After all, you're her only big brother."  
Van looked to the side, "Well, if she turned out well, it's probably not because of me. There's a lot that I could have done to be a better brother."  
"Don't talk like that." Hitomi chided, "She still came back to see you. She still loves you very much."  
Hitomi took Merle's hat, and set it on the nightstand. Then she carefully helped the sleeping girl out of her sweatshirt.  
She was wearing a blue T-shirt that said "Love" in English on the front, and had a small heart shape on the back. It wasn't the shirt, though, that Hitomi noticed.  
She picked up the girl's slender tanned wrist, and looked at the thin pink stripes that adorned her arms.  
"Van," She asked concernedly, making him turn his head, "She dosen't have a pet cat, does she?"  
"No... I don't think so," He cocked his head to the side, eyeing her scarred arms.  
"Then, what happened?" Hitomi's eyes grew worriedly wide. She knew the answer. Saying it out loud made her shudder a bit.  
Merle squirmed a bit against Hitomi, and cracked her eyelid open.  
"Nii- Chan..." She muttered, with a yawn at an interval. The worried expression on her brother's face prodded her to wake herself up more. She instinctivly pressed her wrists against her sides, trying to hide the scars that decorated them.  
"What's wrong?" She asked, trying to sound nonchalant.  
"Merle, what- what happened to your arms?"  
A cold shock ran through Merle's body, as she quickly bit her lip and averted her eyes. She nervously grabbed the corner of the blanket and clenched her fist. She noticed Hitomi beside her, and scooted away, glaring.  
"It's nothing." She whispered.  
"Merle," Hitomi said softly, reaching out to her, "You don't have to- "  
"Shut up!" Merle pushed away Hitomi's hand, "This is none of your business!" Hitomi moved away, remorsefully, making room for Van to sit down.  
He extended his hand, with an understanding sentiment in his eyes, but there was still a question there.  
"Naze?" He asked, "Why?"  
Her eyes brimmed with tears, and she fell against his chest, holding on to him tightly.  
"I'm sorry!" She sniffed painfully, "I didn't want you to know if it was going to make you sad. I'm sorry I'm a burden to you nii-san."  
"Merle," He asked, "So does aunt Yuriko really know you're here?"  
The pink haired girl shook her head, and held on more tightly.  
He patted her back gently, and blankly stared forward.  
"Tell me everything, please." His voice was soft.  
She looked up at her brother with sparkling eyes. He nodded reassuringly, and she put her head back down.  
"I didn't want to be there," She began, holding her sob back, "I missed you so much. I didn't have any friends at my school. They all picked on me because of my hair."  
Van stroked her curly pink bob, trying to place himself in merle's life. What she was really going through.  
"Yuriko-San wouldn't listen to me about it. I didn't have anyone to talk to I- I was so lonely, nii-chan." Her tears leaked out onto his shirt, "I wanted to die. I just wanted to die." She broke down sobbing again.  
"Merle," He whispered, taking her into a tighter embrace. She choked a few more words,  
"My teacher found out. They- just wanted to send me to a doctor. They wouldn't even listen to me. It was like I was too much trouble for them."  
Hitomi watched Van holding his sister, and realized how helpless she felt.  
'Nobody would even listen to what she had to say. She was completely ignored. I've felt that before.'  
"Don't worry, Merle." Van whispered, cradling her gently, "You can talk to me and from I'll always listen. I'm sorry for leaving you. I never should have done that. I realize now that I should have listened more seriously when you didn't want me to leave you. I didn't know I'd be leaving you so alone."  
It settled suddenly on Hitomi. Why Merle was so cruel. In her eyes, she was taking Van away. In her eyes, Van was everything.  
She rested her hand on her face, brushing back a lock of dark blonde hair.  
'Maybe now isn't a good time. It's not a time to be selfish.' She settled into herself, 'This isn't a time to get in the way.'  
She quietly ventured back out of his room, and picked up her coat. She wrote her goodbye on a note, then headed outside for the subway.  
  
*End part 3*  
  
A/N: Ha! How d'ya like that? I finally put up a new chapter! Whee! ::Blows party horn:: It was a little too angsty, I think, but at least I overcame my writers block, right?  
  
*Crickets Chirp*  
  
To be honest, I don't know exactly where this story is going. I'm just moving along as the thoughts come. I'm really proud of myself for finally getting something done. At first this was a one-shot, then I thought it would be a three part story, now I think we're in it for the long haul. Bear with me, onegai!  
  
Much love, and hope I don't wait so long for the next chapter!  
  
(Oh yeah, and REVIEW!)  
  
Toby-Chan 


	4. Part four The Cleverness of Bubblegum

**A/N**: Just in case you were worried, no, I'm not dead! Yaaay! (Is nobody celebrating?) I can't believe how bad I've been with this fic. It's been a love-hate relationship for me. On one hand, I like the potential of it, because I can include a lot, and on the other hand, I despise the corniness, and juvenile elements I put in earlier on. I've been cruel to you all for that matter, if anybody at all is following this story. I'm a procrastinator of the worst kind, and my attentions have been drifting away from Escaflowne and all related fandom. Furthermore, I've been losing faith in this story, not to mention that I've almost completely forgotten where the heck I'm going with this anyway.

If you can still stand to stay with this one, I will try to make it a pleasant experience for both of us. In the mean time, I'm off to bed, because it is ever so late. (Mutters) Drama... homework... green tea... jell-o... zzzz....

**Shut Your Mouth**

_By: Toby Chan_

Chapter four

A little sun spilled through the window of Hitomi's room, unto the lumpy pile of twisted sheets and pillows upon her bed, that only if one looked hard enough, could they tell it was a sleeping human. She squirmed a little, and repositioned, in her comfy makeshift little cocoon of blankets.

That cursed alarm had to ruin it all. It began with a beep, which made her groan and roll to turn it off. Just as she moved toward it, her cell phone also began to ring, which she also mentally cursed, and casually compared the combination to 'A perfect storm of annoying devices'.

"Moshi Moshi." She grumbled, after clicking the button on her phone to answer.

"Hitomi. Are you still sleeping?" Allen's voice came through the other end.

"I might be. What of it?"

"Only that interview you have today. Did you forget?"

Hitomi glanced up at her calendar, and then back at the clock before replying, "... No."

"Well then, what are you doing asleep? Your interview with PachiPachi magazine is in an hour!"

"Allen, I've done last minute preparations before. I'll be fine." She muttered, while picking up her hand mirror to admire the lovely bags under her eyes and disheveled hair. She was a mess.

"You'd better make it there on time. You've hardly done anything in the past few weeks."

"And yet my cds are still selling, so what do you care about it?" Apparently she still wasn't too tired for a little sarcasm.

"You'll make it there on time, right?"

"Hai hai."

No sooner had she clicked off her cell, as it rang again. She rolled her eyes, and answered.

"Moshi moshi?"

"Hitomi. It's Van."

She immediately perked up and sat up a little more.

"Van! Hi! How have you been? It's been a while since we've talked."

"Sorry. I've been so busy lately, I've even cancelled band practice for a while. It's been really hectic, taking care of Merle, and trying to find a new school to enroll her in."

"Yeah? How is she doing lately?" Hitomi asked a little reluctantly. She didn't want to admit to herself that she was a little jealous of Merle, having spent most of the past month with Van. Of course, she didn't want to keep him away from his sister, but she still missed spending time with him. Surely it wasn't selfish... was it?

"Merle's doing well. She's adjusting well to living in a crummy apartment, and she's making some friends around here."

"That's good." Hitomi said.

"And on the good end for me," Van joked, "I get to eat something other than instant ramen once in a while."

"Well I guess that means she can bring you something I can't," Hitomi replied with a jesting tone. She couldn't cook worth anything, and she knew it."

"Now, don't be that hard on yourself," Van tried to cover for her. But they both knew it was true. She'd come over to try to make dinner for Van and Merle and ended up with something more charcoal-resemblant than she'd intended.

After an akward silence, Van spoke again with an obvious attempt at a subject change.

"So... have you had any major plans lately?"

"Not many. I have an interview for PachiPachi in about..." She paused to look at her clock, "Fifty minutes."

"Then what are you doing on the phone? You certainly can't be that close to your interview?"

"Hey, you're the one who called me. Besides, in spite of all appearances, I'm the queen of procrastination."

"Don't procrastinate yourself into a hole, there."

"Don't worry about it. I'll be all ready soon enough."

"Well, I won't bother you any longer, then."

"Don't be ridiculous. Your calls couldn't possibly be a bother. Call again, if you can, please."

"Sure thing. Love you, bye."

Click.

Hitomi found herself blushing a little, as she held the cell phone away from her ear.

"Did he just say 'love you'?" She asked herself, quietly. A small fuzzy grin grew on her face, as she reveled in the giddyness of hearing those simple words.

Lights flashed by out the subway windows, like little christmas lights. Hitomi lazily gripped her handle as more passengers boarded the stuffed car. A quick dash of foundation had done the trick to make her appear slightly less undead, while sunglasses kept her incognito. Though very few passers by might have payed attention to the sloppy train-rider anyhow, she preferred to play it safe, since she still wasn't completely recovered from the trauma of a fangirl rush several months back.

Whoosh. The doors slid open, while the intercom played it's tune, and the pre-recorded voice announced that her stop had come. She'd heard that voice so many times, and wondered for a moment how long that recording had been in use. How often do you suppose they changed it up with a new announcer, cheerily announcing the various thousands stops in the track.

'Her voice must get tired recording all those,' she mused briefly, and snapped herself out of the odd chain of thoughts, before she may end up drifting further, and being ridden all the way to Hokkaido.

She slid her ticket through the machine and exited the open air station, past various gift shops and news stands. She briefly stopped by a quick stop stand and got herself a pack of gum. Relaxed with minty freshness, she was able to pleasantly stroll the few blocks to the correct office building. She entered the clean smelling lobby, where a receptionist whose smile could have put the chesire cat out of business directed her to the elevator and told her the penultimate cliche, 'Two doors to the left'.

She opened the door to find herself in a smaller lobby, where another kind receptionist told her to wait in one of the seats, and the interviewer would be there shortly.

There was a brief silence, when Hitomi impulsively commented,

"It hurts to smile like that dosen't it?"

The receptionist attempted to hide her shock at the unexpected comment.

"You know, smiling, really big and pretty all the time, so everyone thinks you're cute and agreeable."

"Well, that is-"

"I know how you feel."

At this moment, Allen entered the room, with a cup of coffee, relieved to see Hitomi present and in one piece.

"Excellent. You made it." He said, sitting in a chair beside her.

"When is the interviewer going to be ready?" She asked, circling her toe on the carpet unconsiously.

"Your interview is scheduled for 10:30."

"I thought you said 10:15." Hitomi declared, tilting her head a little.

"I did. Because I wanted to be sure you made it on time." Hitomi pursed her lip.

"Honestly. You treat me like such a child." She threw her head back and swung her legs a little, which only served to further support her manager's beliefs.

Another brief silence swung through the air. Hitomi suddenly donned a mildly devious grin as she plotted to fill the silence.

Pop.

The sudden sound startled Allen a bit, but he sighed and chose to ignore the solitary gum bubble. No big deal.

Pop.

Another gooey orb snapped.

An irritated vein on Allen's forehead grew. This was getting fun.

Pop.

A few nearby office workers turned their heads from their desks.

Pop.

"Cut that out already!" Allen growled, shedding his typically proffessional exterior to reach over and squeeze her cheeks with one hand like a parent making their child spit out an inedible object they'd swallowed. "Spit it out, now."

At that moment, the reporter entered the lobby, to find them in that lord-knows-what-they're-doing-best-to-ignore-it position, and paused in shock for a moment, but shook it off with a remembrance of manners. Hitomi swallowed her gum, and Allen bashfully let go and tried to look casual.

Wasn't it seven years that gum was rumored to remain in your stomach? It was worth it to see the mortified look on Allen's face.

"Kanzaki San!" The woman in a mauve suit and skirt greeted cheerily, brushing off the incident of the previous second, "How do you do? Yoroshiku. Please treat me well in the future."

"The same goes here. Yoroshiku onegai shimasu." Hitomi bowed and greeted her politely.

"Please, do come into my office." The woman said.

Her office was small, but nice. There were various framed posters from the magazine on the wall, a proffesional looking desk, and a set of blue chairs, which looked like the only things in the room designed for comfort and not appearances.

"Thank you." Hitomi said, as she was offered to sit.

The interview went surprisingly well. It mostly consisted of the same annoying questions, but they were simple, superficial and easy to answer.

Favorite color?

Pink.

Favorite musician?

Alanis Morissette.

Any pets?

A goldfish named Alice. She was a 'feeder' fish at the pet shop, so I bought her out of pity. She ended up growing into a near carp.

How about a boyfriend?

Dosen't that count under pets?

(Laughter)

She was glad she'd answered that way, so as to avoid having to really answer that. She didn't want Van involved in all the stupid publicity and tabloid fodder.

"Wow. It's been so interesting talking to you."

_'Sure it has.' _(Smile)

"You seem to be an ambitious young woman. It seems as though you could have any career you want. If you weren't a musician, what career would you want to have."

"Well, I certainly wouldn't want to be whoever they hire to record the subway stops. So many places to say, and you'd only be needed every few years."

(Long pause...)

"Well, I guess that wraps it up then."

"I guess it does."

"Thank you for coming."

"It was my pleasure."


End file.
